


Ebb and Flow

by Rose Argent (roseargent)



Category: Silver Diamond
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Tokyo (City)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25513201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseargent/pseuds/Rose%20Argent
Summary: Rakan and Chigusa expand their horizons a little at a time, as they settle into life in Japan.
Relationships: Sawa Rakan/Senrou Chigusa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: Rare Male Slash Exchange 2020





	Ebb and Flow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [izayoi_no_mikoto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/izayoi_no_mikoto/gifts).



> I've read Silver Diamond only through a hodgepodge of different translators. Apologies for any errors/inconsistencies that--or my imperfect memories of Tokyo--might have resulted in. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story, it was a delight writing for you!

Rakan had travelled a very long way in Amato, but except for school trips he'd seen very little of Japan; life in his sleepy country town had always been enough for him, or he'd tried to make it enough for him. Looking at universities, still with some vague idea of a comfortable and boring government job--not quite for the same reasons anymore, but it still seemed like the best plan--Tokyo's name kept leaping out at him. Scanning down lists of schools his eyes would catch on the _kyo_ , in black ink on white paper instead of white on black, and something about seeing it made him want to go.

It was silly. He'd been, of course. Not often, but he'd tagged along with friends who wanted to go for whatever reason. Even with changing train lines it was easy enough to do in one day and still have hours to spend in the city. But he had no real reason to go there, nothing that he wanted to do or have that he couldn't get here, or in Amato. Except, maybe gifts for his friends? Sae might like something trendy and cute from Harajuku, and he could find something cool for Tohji there, too. Something classy from Omotesando would suit Narushige--Rakan could probably, maybe, kind of afford something small without stretching the budget too much. 

From there the idea kind of took on a life of its own. He mentioned it to Chigusa, trying to be casual about it when talking about Chigusa's schedule for the next week or two. Of course he couldn't hide how much he really wanted to go, not from Chigusa--the 'bad reception' in their connection wasn't _that_ bad. The kitchen table was covered in train schedules and maps the very next day, Chigusa trying to plan the trip like it was the same kind of dangerous journey they'd gone on before. 

Rakan couldn't honestly say that there was _no_ danger in Tokyo, but they weren't going to be there at night and anyway it was still pretty safe. Getting lost was the biggest danger, and all it took to get un-lost was finding a police box or a station. Chigusa was taking it so seriously, and it felt like he was kind of enjoying it, but there was definitely a growing undercurrent of complete confusion. "This is _all_ Tokyo?"

Leaning in to see what Chigusa was looking at--a general overview of the whole Greater Tokyo area, which wasn't very helpful at all--Rakan wondered how to explain it. "Yes, but also kind of no. Tokyo is a bit different. It's like a bunch of cities in one. We're going to Shibuya." Rakan point out the characters for 'Shibuya', and Chigusa dug through the pile of paper until he found a map that matched. It was still A Lot, when you looked at it on a map. 

Something had caught Chigusa's attention, though, and Rakan saw him tracing the edges of Yoyogi Park with his index finger. "It's all green."

"That's..." Rakan knew Chigusa had seen parks on the TV, and Amato was greener every time they went back, but the idea of showing Chigusa the forests and seas and natural beauty of Japan was kind of exciting, now that he thought about it. He'd always been content to just have Chigusa here, with him, living a quiet, normal life; the peace and quiet that had been stifling before was something altogether different when it felt earned. But going to different places sometimes was normal, too, wasn't it? A normal sort of "adventure," small and safe but still something new. "That's read 'Yoyogi', it's a park. And there is Meiji Shrine... we should go there, too." 

Chigusa reached back and snagged Rakan closer, until Rakan landed in his lap. "Anywhere is good, if you're there." With a perfectly straight face, he said these things. 

\--

Ultimately, Rakan ended up making most of the actual plans, such as they were--mostly it was just seat reservations for the trains that offered them, and double-checking the connections that didn't. 

The local train was old hat for Chigusa by now, but when the wind blew through the transfer station, heralding the arrival of the shinkansen, Rakan felt a little genuine surprise from Chigusa. Once they were on the train it was a little harder to tell just how fast it was really going, but the scenery outside the window whipped past them almost too quickly to appreciate it. Rakan had meant for Chigusa to take the window seat so that he could see the landscape go by, but Chigusa wasn't having any of that--he insisted on Rakan taking the window seat, and then settled into the aisle seat to watch anyone who passed by. He _looked_ relaxed enough, but Rakan could feel the tension underneath every time someone paused just a heartbeat too long before moving on to their own seat. (How could they not stop to look, though? Chigusa drew the eye no matter where he went).

Getting off at Tokyo station, Chigusa actually stopped dead in his tracks for a second as they entered the main area of the station. Rakan had to pull him aside to let other people pass, and his heart skipped a beat at the jumble of feelings he was getting from Chigusa. This was a mistake. Stepping from the quiet of the shinkansen to the chaos of the station was a bit of a shock even for Rakan, but he hadn't really thought about it much--it was just how Tokyo was. Chigusa had learned so much about this world so fast--he even had a job, and a cell phone--but Tokyo station was just... a lot, for anyone. Even for Chigusa, apparently.

Rakan looked up at the signs and started pulling Chigusa towards platform 5. He'd been thinking about taking a slightly faster route with more transfers but that was seeming like a terrible idea now--they could just get on the Yamanote loop and stay on it until they got to Harajuku, then head straight into the park or the shrine instead of down Takeshita-dori. Chigusa had snapped out of his sudden freeze, but he was trying to look everywhere at once, his hand reaching for the tree gun that wasn't there. Rakan's haste wasn't unusual in a crowded station--people rushed to make their train, rushed to get where they were going--but somehow they were never going exactly the right way to flow with the crowd. 

It felt like it took forever to cross the station, but as the minutes ticked by and people continued to more or less ignore them some of the tension bled out of Chigusa. The crush of people thinned out, too, splitting off into smaller streams with each exit and platform gate they passed. 

The train wasn't too crowded at this time of day, though 'not crowded' meant different things here than it did at home. Once the train got moving, Rakan had to resist the urge to rest his forehead against Chigusa's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't think how all the people would affect you."

Surprised, Chigusa looked down at Rakan, his eyes warm. "I've seen it on the television before. I wanted to come." And it was like the static in their connection cleared for a moment, and Rakan just knew that Chigusa was thinking of that first day in Amato and another apology that was--to Chigusa's mind--endearingly unnecessary. 

Rakan blushed a little and bumped Chigusa's arm with his shoulder. "Well, fine, I won't worry about you, then." (Yes he would. But he would pretend otherwise a little harder).

When they got off at Harajuku, Chigusa was more or less himself again, as far as Rakan could tell. It was a little busy, but even from the platform there was just an absolute wall of greenery visible, and the building was old and wooden and comfortable; Rakan, at least, felt calmer just being there. Even though Chigusa seemed to have gotten used to the idea of crowds, Rakan still took them out the Omotesando exit and across the bridge, instead of towards Takeshita-dori. There would be other chances to come to Tokyo, other times to try crowded streets and busy intersections, but since the moment he started seeing it outside the train windows, Rakan had eyes only for the green, all his previous plans falling away. 

They passed under the torii and it was very much like stepping into another world, almost the exact reverse of going to Amato the first time--from concrete and traffic and the lingering heat of early autumn, into the cool, quiet shadows of great trees. The broad trunks stretched overhead, as tall as anything Rakan had grown in Amato, but it _felt_ totally different. These trees were _old_ , grown by nothing more than time and nature and the care of completely human hands, and even with the scrap of power he held in this world, Rakan could feel them in his bones. 

The path was long and the peacefulness of it made it seem like time was stretching out as they walked, but eventually the trees pulled back a little and they entered the main courtyard of the shrine. He cleansed himself, and Chigusa followed what he did faithfully. Step by step, Rakan followed the motions he'd done without thought since childhood and again Chigusa copied him with careful precision but no real understanding. Rakan was increasingly uncomfortable with the feeling that his actions were as devoid of meaning as Chigusa's. He hadn't really had much to do with shrines or temples since coming back from Amato. He hadn't been avoiding them deliberately, exactly--he didn't think the gods of Japan were like Hoshiminokoto--but he didn't feel right asking them for anything, anymore. He didn't have anything he needed to ask for, and it felt wrong to lean on divine intervention after seeing the end of that road. In the end, he simply gave thanks for the peace the shrine had given him, for the health and beauty of its trees, for sanctuary in the midst of Tokyo. 

Chigusa's hand was warm against Rakan's back, a comforting touch so brief that Rakan might have imagined it except that he felt the echoes of it in their bond. 

"I'm okay." Rakan smiled up at Chigusa, and maybe it was a little shaky at first but Chigusa's concern was as warming as a physical hug. "Really." 

Rakan shook off the lingering shadow of Hoshiminokoto and took one more look around the shrine. It really was beautiful. The walk out was as soothing and peaceful as the walk in had been--if any presences were offended by Rakan's ambivalence, they didn't bestir themselves enough to show it. 

When they could see the end of the path, just past the torii, the sound of traffic and trains and Tokyo starting to filter back in, Chigusa suddenly took Rakan's hand and tugged him deeper into the shadow of the trees. The ground rose steeply, though not far, as they reached the edge of the path. People could still see them, if they chose to look, but no one did. It felt almost like the trees were reaching down to shelter them, making a little bubble of quiet just for them. 

Rakan didn't have to ask what was up. He just tilted his chin up and leaned into the feather-soft brush of Chigusa's lips against his. It only lasted a moment, but it centred something in Rakan in a way he couldn't explain.

They stepped back out into the streets of Tokyo and the crowds no longer seemed to fight against them--they sank into the ebb and flow of the human river as easily as fish that had lived in it their entire lives. Rakan wasn't sure what the difference was, except that he wasn't stressing about it like he had been before. Apparently that was the trick to it, because it was as simple as it had been when he was with his friends. 

Takeshita-dori still seemed like a big ask for a first outing, though, so they picked up some food from a nearby convenience store and headed back to the park. They were far from the only people having their lunch in the park, but at this time of year they were able to find a nice spot without any real trouble. The grass was dry enough that their lack of blanket wasn't a big deal, though it would have been a more picture-perfect picnic with one. Next time they could bring Narushige and Tohji and Rakan would cook the food and they'd do it right. 

This time, it was more than enough to have carryout food and a little spot just for the two of them. Rakan could hear other people talking, laughing, but it all blended into the background with the splash of the fountains and the rustling of leaves. "It would be nice if Mitama-sama's lake could be like this, someday." Taking the portal down so that the former Imperial Capital could be open to the public had been the right choice.

Chigusa looked at Rakan and smiled, and Rakan's heart skipped a beat--in the best kind of way, this time. It really wasn't fair, sometimes, just how good-looking Chigusa was. Chigusa's smile widened, and he had that look on his face that meant he was thinking something shameless. Rakan wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed that he could only catch the general shape of the thought through the static. All Chigusa said out loud was, "I think it will be."

A beautiful place for people to get together and relax and laugh; Mitama-sama would have complained about the noise, but Rakan thought she would have loved it, deep down, and he couldn't imagine a better memorial. 

Eventually they did end up strolling down Omotesando, at least. Rakan peered in the windows of the fancy boutiques and saw things that would have looked criminally good on Chigusa, but even thinking about the prices hurt Rakan's frugal heart. Maybe he'd been a bit naive about what designer things cost. It didn't seem right to have Chigusa try things on, knowing that they definitely wouldn't be buying anything, but Rakan was awfully tempted. Probably for the best that they didn't, though--Chigusa in Louis Vuitton might cause actual heart attacks. 

In the end they went home empty-handed. "We never managed to get any gifts for anyone."

"They don't need gifts to be happy to see you. You being there is enough of a gift for anyone." With a perfectly straight face, he said these things. Worse, Rakan could feel the complete sincerity behind the words, which made it so much harder to pretend Chigusa didn't know exactly what he was doing. 

Slipping his hand into Chigusa's, Rakan closed his eyes as the shinkansen pulled out of Tokyo Station. _I love you, too._ The exact words might not pass between them as they once had, but the pulse of pure, uncomplicated love that enveloped Rakan in return made it clear that the only part of the message that mattered always got through. 

-fin-

**Author's Note:**

> RIP old Harajuku station, I have great memories of that place.


End file.
